HD is nice, burnout is not. Faith and future, the best.

So. At last, here we are again. It’s been a while…tired, baby…tired. A new year, same Frank Sinatra...New York....New York...oh, yeah.

Thirsty for a new entry here.

The new TV was more than $200, but still a fabulous deal at $317 (after tax) for 1080p and great surround sound. Honestly, it still wows me how amazing and real fabrics and textures look, people’s hair, etc, etc. It’s already made it’s money back. I love that thing. My kitten, well…he paws at it. Somehow, it has repelled every possible scratch. No clue how, but very thankful, as IT WAS EXPENSIVE.

Anyway…

Burnout. Whew. Bored beyond bored at work. I used to love it, but no longer working much at a real register has soured my spirits there. I did a week of night shift once, a nice contrast but unsustainable with what I need in life, y’know…like BEING ABLE TO DO THINGS IN THE DAYTIME AND NOT BEING DEAD-TIRED! But it was fun, doing it again next week, and I kind of need to. Another highlight of my job was learning how to operate the gas station, different, exciting and so quiet in there. Not as quiet as this nook of serenity here, but not too far from it. I also get a chair. Finally! Doing a shift there this week.

Starting college soon, everything is ready. All I need to do is dig into my financial aid and use some of it for my FIRST CLASS! Very excited to be majoring in Paralegal Studies. I still think it’s what I want to do. Let’s see how I feel by the next time I write one of these, when hopefully I’ll have that first class in the books.

Tax refund coming, conversion (and hefty Mikveh fee) already come! I have pledged my allegiance to Judaism, and it works for me. I will be happy with it for the rest of my life and it truly brings me joy. What a feeling! I had the best Rabbi along for the ride, guiding me and sharing in the joy together.

Marriage, car…still high on my list. Thinking tax refund will go towards the wedding, and I am hopeful in feeling that I have regained the love and trust of my significant other, who surprises me these days with sweet messages of how she finds comfort through me and how I’ve been there for her going on 7 years now. I hope to do something nice for Valentine’s Day together and get hitched. I want it. Truly.

Not sure if I could handle or it is worthwhile to try for a second job at the movie store, a dream of mine since I adore cinema, but if my burnout continues after I begin school, I may just have to do it. Also! I have bought name tags for my three cats, to show them how much I love them as my furry companions and thank them for making me smile after a lame day at work. And my hamster…the gleam in her teensy eyes is something else! My significant other is becoming more beautiful as well, if that was possible.

Job Promotion, Sabbath stress and a new TV.

So! Got that promotion, officially a cashier now. Doing well, though apples just look like apples to me and when I try to confidently enter the code for a peach or green apple, I discover that it's actually a Granny Smith "Euro" apple instead, or a different kind of peach. Regardless! Improving, and got good marks on my annual performance evaluation. I don't know how long into the future I will be working with this company, but I cannot say a bad word against it and I did let them know that I am interested in a future managerial position.

About that--not sure what I want to do with my life. I would like to secure a place in the justice system, e.g. lawyer, but something that doesn't hinder me from being a family man. We've all heard the cliches of the doctor/lawyer that is never home to see the wife and kids or is always called away when they get a second to breathe. I don't want THAT, but...I do want to do good and doing jury duty last year really spoke to me. Something in that world--that's what I want to do. Now, these feelings may change, but right now it's calling to me like the one ring luring the ringwraiths. PLUS--part of me just wants to strut downtown in a nice suit, tie, and shades. Yeah, I wanna be one of those guys.

Alas, my CRT television of at least 10 years has finally died on me. I had the thought to bury it, but that's a bit nuts. It was a great TV, and I had fought off the urge to conform and buy a new flat screen style that everyone else is going crazy for these days, but it is 'time to sell' as they say. I am hoping to find a TV for under $200 and am hoping my cats don't knock it over. *knock on keyboard* The problem is having enough money for a new TV *and* living expenses at the same time (not exactly making a fortune at my job). ::grunts::

Now, the main story of this entry. Working on the sabbath. The what? The sabbath--the day of rest that God decrees in da' bible, yo. When I first got this job, I was adhering to this rule, only working on Friday until sundown and not working on Saturday until sundown, which made for late night shifts. As winter ended, I expanded my availability (due to later sundowns on Friday) but it quickly wore me out, especially so as I started working on Saturday regardless of the biblical law. Then the problems started, like trying to grind metal with your teeth. As of now, I attend weekly services on Saturday mornings, i.e. working later in the day sucked big time, and most recently right after service ended, which was the final straw that led to my exhaustion on multiple levels. I was stressed out spiritually and physically spent.

So, conclusion: No longer working on Saturdays. Now, will I consider doing it if there is a big holiday at the store, sure...but not for every freaking boring Saturday when I am not even needed. This way, I get my rest and no longer suffer from the agonizing friction of work life and religion in 2015. Ideally, I want to attend Friday night services but that's a story for another time, when I have that car I wrote about in my last entry.

Until next time! I also bought a new watch, because I could not find my old one--I LOOKED EVERYWHERE FOR IT. This one is arguably even nicer, if not gaudy. And looming in the near future is the next step of my conversion to Judaism. Need money for that, too...go figure.

Job Promotion, Hopes of Marriage, Budget Control & Fun

Let's go back in time...a year. I was letting my acquisition of a GED in summer 2013 stew in my mind a bit too long, and a series of punishments followed for it. I still had no job, no acceleration, no clue.

Let's move a year forward. I have had my first job now for just under 6 months, and will have had 3 positions at work should my promotion become official in the days to follow. I have definitely taken the ball of life and run with it, stepping out of my comfort zone (which due to my anxiety issues is rather restrictive) and actually doing well in a job that depends on solid customer service and hospitality, always with a smile.

Now, it's not a college degree job, but I'm starting to think about that too. College isn't going anywhere, but I'm getting older now (on the cusp of 25, argh!) and I also plan to tie the knot on a 'complicated' relationship that I've had for the past 6 years (7 in November). If this shouldn't happen, or at least not get moving in a productive direction, I will be upset so I better keep after it and fix any other issues with the relationship by this coming winter.

Job means money! I am loving the money, and also enjoying the fun of budgeting it. I think I'm doing a good job at it, but I still spend too much (said everyone ever). Moving forward I think it will improve. I also did taxes for the first time!!!

Also, on the wish list is a driver's license and a decent car. This will lead to more fun time in life, and hopefully I will be a good driver. It's about time, is all I can say. I've managed without one until now, but it's just gotta happen. When, I don't know, but preferably before winter because winter sucks and I also need a car to see my family more often than I have the past few years, which is driving me up the wall and to be honest they are getting older and I'm missing precious chances to spend time together.

Fun time! Yes, I have been entertaining my interests. I bought a Keurig coffee machine, a foot massage system, plenty of movies, video games and.......FOOD!!!!! Steaks were without me in their lives for too long (haha, steaks have no lives, ooh harsh) and I plan to try new foods and new restaurants soon.

In conclusion, I am doing much better and actually moving forward and toward a better life. I also have a new kitten, which was a blessing in disguise as part of one of those nightmares that happened last year at this time. I've realized what truly matters, and as my last posting desired, I do feel more centered. I am growing closer to God and my conversion to Judaism, which is just another piece of my dream puzzle.

Go west, young man.

I want to become more centered as a person. Alas, I am beginning this little blog with the hope that I will actually contribute to it and channel my thoughts. I may be a quiet person, but I have detected a devilish disquiet due to a lack of dalliance with my emotions and innermost thoughts. I may be apathy's friend but I have dreams.